“Solitude”

To some being alone is lonely!

To me being alone is a chance for me to get to know myself and my thoughts…

To enjoy myself and these wonderful lessons learned in life.

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I think personally everyone should live alone as an adult for at least one year to get to know yourself and find out what you want. These things are important I believe to successfully live with anyone! I say at least a year because it gives you time to get to know yourself. Your likes and dislikes, who you are as a person and what your goals are! I do believe if this was a mandatory action, That we as humans would have a better understanding of ourselves and not be so quick to judge, as we are our worst critics and once you now how if feels to be criticized you can accomplish anything!

 

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sometimes when we feel our loneliest is when  I think we should use that to grow in our own solitude. Now not everyone will agree that solitude is a great thing as it can get really loud in our heads as well as the universe.. However sometimes the world is a really loud place to live and solitude can can calm the confusion that takes us over.

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Now trust me I am no expert at solitude, I have no degree nor think I am smarter than anyone else; as we all are struggling to get through this thing called life, but i have lived alone and do enjoy my moments of solitude which are far and few between these days… I actually miss them…

Also I am not so much anti social but I actually dont have any real friends… 🙂

I mean I could include my mom and husband but ya know other than that…. nope Just you guys on social media and the ones reading this…

Thank you!!!

Until next time peeps

Stay strong and love one another….

 

 

 

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Life is simple, We complicate it!!!!

What do you see when you look at other?

Do you feel hatred or judgmental? Put them in a category of your own……

Do you think or say mean things….

This is why we as human beings are not as one!!!

Watch this 4 minute video and we will continue on…

I know it looks kind of corny in the beginning but trust me its worth the watch if you have an open mind!!!!

Well if you watched the video all the way through i’m sure your thinking “WOW” I never looked at it that way….. Well at least I hope you are!

All the judgement and opinions of other, as if we are any better….

What gives us the right to judge…. Why do we feel entitled to put others down?

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We are so mean to each other, to other most of us know nothing about….

I know a million people have wrote about this and nothing has ever changed…. You know what that is okay too….

Maybe, just maybe one person will read this and have a change of heart!!!

So now back to the video…

So what if we could see what people were going through…

What if we didn’t see and judge, but we saw their character, their losses, their pain!!!!

Would we still be so mean or would we try to help!!!!

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Next time you speak just know that those words can either destroy someone or pick them up…

How do you want to be remembered?

By they way you picked people up or by the way you stepped on them while they were already down…..

Maybe its not the world that is so bad, but the humans that consume it…..

Humans are complicated people when life is just simple…..

So don’t complicate it!!!!!

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Transform your heart and your eyes will follow……

Always remember the golden rule

“Do unto others as you would have done to you”

Until next time peeps stay kind and humble….

As you never know when you may need to be picked up….

“Get To Know Me”

Welcome back everyone…

Here is a couple poems I wrote in regards to the darker time in my life….

For those who dont know me very well, I have had quit the journey getting to where I am today….

Today I am not always proud of who I am, but I do thank God I’m not where I used to be….

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“No Name Yet”

I lost my heart along the way,

my mind has forgot just where it lay.

The pieces of it scattered from town to town,

Pieces that will probably never be found.

Sometimes I feel an ache in deep down inside my chest,

its most likely from the jagged edges it left.

The pain that I carry I cant seem to get rest,

I think of lost days and wonder if they were all tests.

So I trudge uphill with this thorn in my side,

looking for someone with whom I can confide!

 

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“No Name yet”

For those who dont know me,

I came from the streets.

Drinking and smoking crack a daily routine.

And dont ever let me forget the prostituting that lowered my self esteem,

with every car I got in that I seen.

To ashamed to go home,

To scared to feel, to know no way out is hopeless and real.

Some people feel sorry for the things I went through,

but it took the whole journey to get me here with you.

Grateful when I got hereto smoke a or take a tour,

watching the statistics as they walk out the door.

Scared for them but more scared for me,

as it used to be me walking out the door.

living with 90 women and watching them grow,

even when the process is sometimes slow.

Taking each moment for what its worth,

and keeping hope alive living one day at a time.

I drop to my knees each morning and night,

knowing the good lord has me in sight.

No more running, from you or from me,

Trusting the process and thinking things through.

living each moment with spiritual bliss,

I’ve learned not to put expectations on anyone or anything,

and try hard not to complain.

Everyday is not great, but everyday is good,

knowing i’m no longer lost in the hood!

 

I hope you liked these…

Know you know a little more about my journey to get me to where I am…

Life can be difficult sometimes, but its not where you are; but where you are going that counts….

Forward is FORWARDS no matter what you call!!!!!

 

Until next time peeps here is a photo of my family today!!!!!

Love, peace and happiness to all…..

PS: You would not believe me if I told you how many pics were taken just to get every one including the dogs, looking at the camera.:)

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Complacent in an ever changing world

How do we live and become so complacent in this world that is always evolving?

I have become so complacent and unhappy with my small world I live in.

I am an intellect at heart, however i do not feel that way anymore. I have become complacent!!!! My behaviors are not as an intellect because I am no longer striving to become better by learning, feeling doing those things that make me the intellect that I once was.

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I need stimuli, learning, I need to use those parts of my brain that I have forgotten how to be happy not using them….

They lay dormant like a rug growing mold!!!!

I need quit, and peace and intellectual conversation, I need to grow and first of all I need to think!!!!

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I need knowledge in my life, to be accountable for my own life, choices, mistakes made, good time and everything in between….

I read this a long time ago and it stuck with me ever since… I had forgotten it until now… This quote is so true and sticks me right in the gut every-time….

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

― Tony Robbins

Thank you Tony Robbins for reminding me that pain does change people. Being complacent in my life has made this one heck of a horrible year…

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I would like to ask all my fellow bloggers, family, followers and friends if we could just hold each other accountable for learning something new everyday!!!

I plan to start a journal of at least one thing new I have learned each day and write about it…

whether it be from another blog, a book, an accredited website, etc.

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So what ever is in store for me I welcome it with open arms, knowing I am growing and learning each day!!!

Becoming the intellect I once was and growing beyond what I am capable, because we all are… Remember that we always have the power to change ourselves (no matter what the situation) Thinking and learning is a gift that many of us dont use anymore…..

Until next time I wish the best on you quest to intellect!!!!

 

Rediscovering Yourself!!!!!

My life revolves around the feeling of not knowing who I am anymore! I wonder what was I like? Who was that girl before life happened! I was looking back on photos (which i will share) but i was thinking what went wrong? How did I end up here…..

Feeling so lost, alone and afraid of every move I make that I might me doing it wrong; and of course I usually am because I am my worst  critic! I can remember the good ‘ol days when life just seemed to be simple, times were slower and well people were nicer…. This world and Yes My decisions  have made me bitter and cold and wanting to numb out all the feelings.

For those who dont know me personally I will let ya in on a little secret! I have used drugs and alcohol to mask these feelings from the world most of my life! Now if you look at me differently knowing this that is okay because you wont be the first and I am sure wont be the last, and as I said before I am my worst critic, and most dangerous person to me is ME! So there’s not much anyone can say or do that I haven’t already to myself!

Okay so now that we got that out of the way lets get back to how to rediscover ourselves and not feel like a crappy person all the time. So how do I find this girl? Is she hiding somewhere within me… I’m chunky so there is lots of places she could be hiding…… 😉

So lets start with what do I like? Well I like Pizza, movies, reading, Writing, nature, photos, art Philosophy….. Okay that looks like a good start. Now how often do I do these things?

Pizza = Sometimes ( Not as much as I would like)

Movies = A Lot ( could be doing other things on list)

Reading = Varies ( Could do more if I cared to)

Writing = More now ( Grateful for starting Blog)

Nature = Not enough ( Not as much as I would like)

Photos = Used to ( Not as much as I would like)

Philosophy = Hardly ever ( Not as much as I would like)

 

Okay so there seems to be a pattern here of ( Not as much as I would like)???? So how can I change it? I want to be that happy and carefree girl again. So I searched the wonderful Google and these are some steps I came up with to helping you find your way.

 

4 Essential Steps to Rediscovering Yourself

It’s impossible to change history.  But we can rediscover ourselves.  We can reclaim our seemingly lost qualities and talents.  And even our very essence, our soul.  It is never too late.

Here are four essential steps to help you rediscover yourself.

  1. Recognize the Loss

Are you living life on automatic?  That’s the essence of being lost.  Busyness conveniently covers the pain. But one day, a trickle of grace filters through.  A tiny light illuminates a slice of darkness.

When that happens, don’t hesitate for a moment!  Capture the grace, dwell in the light, and dare to ask:  “Have I lost a part of myself?”  The answer may instantaneously appear. Or, like me, the question may dance for awhile in the deepest recesses of your brain until clarity beautifully dawns.

  1. Identify the Missing Parts

What are you missing? Have you lost yourself altogether?  Or are you missing pieces and parts?  Try using some of the methods listed in part 4 – like writing, dialog, or art – to unearth the truth.

Questions for reflection:

  • Who am I? Is this who I want to be?
  • What am I missing?
  • Which parts am I missing?
  • What am I longing for?
  • What were my dreams as a child, a teen, a young adult?
  • What were my passions as a child, a teen, a young adult?
  • How do I want my life to look?  Today?  In 5 years? When I die?
  • What are my values?
  • What do I cherish most highly?
  • What brings me happiness, satisfactions, a sense of accomplishment?
  1. Explore How You Got Off Track

There are so many ways you can lose yourself. From the voice of your own inner tyrant to the people and circumstances that touch you constantly throughout the day.  Any one of us can easily feel swept away by the countless demands, expectations, and overriding commitments that come to rule one’s life in a seemingly inescapable way.

Credited :

http://alwayswellwithin.com/2011/01/12/have-you-lost-a-part-of-yourself/

Until next time…. Enjoy the photos , BTW I am the little blonde…

Issues…. We all Got’em

I have done a lot of soul searching recently and have come to the conclusion that not everyone is good to have in your life!

Some say your parents are yours forever no matter what!!!!

Well they are right, I mean you cant literally change who made you but that doesn’t mean that you have to allow them into your life if they seem to corrupt it…. Sometimes its better to let them go if the stress is too much for you.

I have let my father Go! Its sad that I never really had one; well I take that back I had my papaw and that is who I will remember even though he has passed. That is the man who I consider my true father!!! He was there for me no matter what, he showed me how to through ball, how to be a hard worker, how to fix stuff and even how to be just a good person!

My real father was never around… But to hear him tell it he was always there….. When he did show up which wasent often it was like he was the world!!!! However most of the time I sat looking out the window waiting for someone that would never show!!!!! And maybe that part of me is that part of him; as I am not the best parent myself!!! So why do these things stick with us? Cant I just move on?

I have always looked for love in all the wrong places. Possibly looking for that father figure. I would sleep around with older guys and put myself in situations that were dangerous. All to be let down in the morning or the next week or however long it took to realize I could never find what I was looking for!!!!

I dont understand how I have let this little piece of me take so much of my life as if it were a huge grenade that exploded and took ruin to everything good about the person I was meant to be!

My mom always told me that I was sensitive growing up that she couldn’t even hardly yell at me without me getting my feelings hurt and begin to cry! So maybe that is what happened; this world made me cold! You know because sensitive people dont make it in the world we live in!!!!

Even though I wouldn’t know what a real father is supposed to do or how to act except for good ‘ol papaw…. I do know how their not supposed to act!

I know that you dont cause harm or take them places that could cause harm… Knowing past issues! You dont only need your kid when you need help with something! You dont take things for granted because you have a parental authority…..

Which is why I have let my father go!!!

I know I left details out but that may be another story, another day!!!!

I dont even know when or if I will publish this, but it felt good to let it out……

Thank you for reading.

Comments and follows are always welcome!!!!!

Until next time….. Carry on, stand tall, keep your eye on the prize!!!!

 

 

Striking Out!!!!!

So I have been doing this Home business thing for going on 2 weeks now….

It really sucks as I cant seem to get anyone to join or even go to my website; which was beautifully made… (Thank you Stone Evans)

I have written blogs, posted to all social media and done all the things that were asked of me to do but still NOTHING!!!!!

I know, I know I am supposed to stay positive, but it seems the only way you get traffic or anything is to scam someone or buy it; which does not make since to me but Hey, I am not the professional here! I also know Rome wasent built in one day but I also know that (denial) LOL (the Nile) is not just a river in Egypt!

I am not sure what to do! Should I give up put more effort back into my day job…. BTW which is slacking because of trying to put more time and effort into this!

I just cant afford to buy the top dollar trafficking tools and all the fancy marketing items right now!

So I guess the question to all this is do I keep pushing on or just call it a loss! I do love blogging and writing though…. If there is one thing that has come out of this as it has gotten me writing which I have missed dearly!

I also am wondering if affiliate’s meaning I make money, You make money = We make money; then why dont you get the traffic for free since they are already successful? Then once you are established you can buy into all those products…. I dont know Call me crazy for thinking when someone under you succeeds it shows a direct result of who you are. I know once again someone is asking for something for free which trust me I know all to well that is never the case, not only in marketing but in the real world!!!! Nothing is Ever FREE! We all pay one way or another.

I will ponder on this for a week or so and see how it goes. Some feedback would be great! That is if anyone reads this…..

Until next time!!!!!

UPDATE: I have given up on the whole marketing attribute as I think I do better just writing…. I am not really a salesperson but for all my friends that do I will gladly support you any way I can….

 

Welcome Welcome, Coffee or Tea anyone???

I love to write!

Always have guess I always will…..

Sometimes I feel like my words are said better with paper and pen!

So I have decided to start a personal/life blog. I am hoping you will join me on my journey. I love feedback of any kind as it always helps to have other opinions as sometimes I dont give my self such good advice!!!!! 🙂

I will start by telling you a bit about me. I am somewhat complicated! I feel as though life throws things at me, good and bad just to see if I am looking! I am out of practice and have not been very good at catching lately, but that’s another story.

I am a mother of fur-babies and children, I am married, love to garden, love herbal remedies, reading, and nature. I love learning new things. I also love adventure, but I also love to be organized and make plans….. I told you I was complicated….LOL

Anyway; My fur-babies names are Ella, Bella, Gracie, Fancy and the newest member is Little bit…. I wrote a blog on her which I will share at a later date.

My biological children are Jordan, Brittany,  and Nikki; my children through marriage are Dylan and Emmie.

Oh, and my other child whom I acquired through marriage is Sam…. My biggest kid of all, but yet my rock and other half!!!!

I dont have any friends but my Mom and family…. I guess you could say I am kind of a loner, but I have just learned through this thing called life that its not about the quantity, Its about the quality of people you have in your life!

I have been a little down lately and life has thrown some definable curve balls my way. It always seems to help when I get things out, but talking is not my best asset by far… Now dont get me wrong… I run a company and talk to people all the time but on a more professional level which is different than spilling your guts out to someone!!!!

So my guts will be included in this blog…. The good, the bad, and the ugly!!!!!