Life is simple, We complicate it!!!!

What do you see when you look at other?

Do you feel hatred or judgmental? Put them in a category of your own……

Do you think or say mean things….

This is why we as human beings are not as one!!!

Watch this 4 minute video and we will continue on…

I know it looks kind of corny in the beginning but trust me its worth the watch if you have an open mind!!!!

Well if you watched the video all the way through i’m sure your thinking “WOW” I never looked at it that way….. Well at least I hope you are!

All the judgement and opinions of other, as if we are any better….

What gives us the right to judge…. Why do we feel entitled to put others down?

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We are so mean to each other, to other most of us know nothing about….

I know a million people have wrote about this and nothing has ever changed…. You know what that is okay too….

Maybe, just maybe one person will read this and have a change of heart!!!

So now back to the video…

So what if we could see what people were going through…

What if we didn’t see and judge, but we saw their character, their losses, their pain!!!!

Would we still be so mean or would we try to help!!!!

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Next time you speak just know that those words can either destroy someone or pick them up…

How do you want to be remembered?

By they way you picked people up or by the way you stepped on them while they were already down…..

Maybe its not the world that is so bad, but the humans that consume it…..

Humans are complicated people when life is just simple…..

So don’t complicate it!!!!!

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Transform your heart and your eyes will follow……

Always remember the golden rule

“Do unto others as you would have done to you”

Until next time peeps stay kind and humble….

As you never know when you may need to be picked up….

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“Get To Know Me”

Welcome back everyone…

Here is a couple poems I wrote in regards to the darker time in my life….

For those who dont know me very well, I have had quit the journey getting to where I am today….

Today I am not always proud of who I am, but I do thank God I’m not where I used to be….

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“No Name Yet”

I lost my heart along the way,

my mind has forgot just where it lay.

The pieces of it scattered from town to town,

Pieces that will probably never be found.

Sometimes I feel an ache in deep down inside my chest,

its most likely from the jagged edges it left.

The pain that I carry I cant seem to get rest,

I think of lost days and wonder if they were all tests.

So I trudge uphill with this thorn in my side,

looking for someone with whom I can confide!

 

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“No Name yet”

For those who dont know me,

I came from the streets.

Drinking and smoking crack a daily routine.

And dont ever let me forget the prostituting that lowered my self esteem,

with every car I got in that I seen.

To ashamed to go home,

To scared to feel, to know no way out is hopeless and real.

Some people feel sorry for the things I went through,

but it took the whole journey to get me here with you.

Grateful when I got hereto smoke a or take a tour,

watching the statistics as they walk out the door.

Scared for them but more scared for me,

as it used to be me walking out the door.

living with 90 women and watching them grow,

even when the process is sometimes slow.

Taking each moment for what its worth,

and keeping hope alive living one day at a time.

I drop to my knees each morning and night,

knowing the good lord has me in sight.

No more running, from you or from me,

Trusting the process and thinking things through.

living each moment with spiritual bliss,

I’ve learned not to put expectations on anyone or anything,

and try hard not to complain.

Everyday is not great, but everyday is good,

knowing i’m no longer lost in the hood!

 

I hope you liked these…

Know you know a little more about my journey to get me to where I am…

Life can be difficult sometimes, but its not where you are; but where you are going that counts….

Forward is FORWARDS no matter what you call!!!!!

 

Until next time peeps here is a photo of my family today!!!!!

Love, peace and happiness to all…..

PS: You would not believe me if I told you how many pics were taken just to get every one including the dogs, looking at the camera.:)

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Complacent in an ever changing world

How do we live and become so complacent in this world that is always evolving?

I have become so complacent and unhappy with my small world I live in.

I am an intellect at heart, however i do not feel that way anymore. I have become complacent!!!! My behaviors are not as an intellect because I am no longer striving to become better by learning, feeling doing those things that make me the intellect that I once was.

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I need stimuli, learning, I need to use those parts of my brain that I have forgotten how to be happy not using them….

They lay dormant like a rug growing mold!!!!

I need quit, and peace and intellectual conversation, I need to grow and first of all I need to think!!!!

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I need knowledge in my life, to be accountable for my own life, choices, mistakes made, good time and everything in between….

I read this a long time ago and it stuck with me ever since… I had forgotten it until now… This quote is so true and sticks me right in the gut every-time….

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

― Tony Robbins

Thank you Tony Robbins for reminding me that pain does change people. Being complacent in my life has made this one heck of a horrible year…

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I would like to ask all my fellow bloggers, family, followers and friends if we could just hold each other accountable for learning something new everyday!!!

I plan to start a journal of at least one thing new I have learned each day and write about it…

whether it be from another blog, a book, an accredited website, etc.

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So what ever is in store for me I welcome it with open arms, knowing I am growing and learning each day!!!

Becoming the intellect I once was and growing beyond what I am capable, because we all are… Remember that we always have the power to change ourselves (no matter what the situation) Thinking and learning is a gift that many of us dont use anymore…..

Until next time I wish the best on you quest to intellect!!!!

 

❤️Taken for granted❤️

You can never get back the words you have spoken. It is possible to “undo” some of the things you have done, but you can never “unsay” the things you have said. That’s what makes words so powerful. That’s what makes angry words so destructive, and untrue words so demoralizing. It’s also what makes kind and encouraging words such a healing force. The next time you inhale and part your lips to speak, remember: you are writing what you are saying on the hearts of the listener. And once written, your words can never be erased.

You can never get back your past life. That works on both ends: your days of glory and your days of pain; your triumphs and your trauma; your victories and your failures. If they are in the past, they can never be changed. You can’t pretend the bad things didn’t happen. You can’t deny the good you have done, either. Painfully, sometimes cruelly, life goes on, and demands that you go on with it. You can learn and grow from your past, or you can be condemned to repeat it. But you can’t get it back.
You can never get back the time you have wasted. That’s why the Bible talks about “redeeming the time.” Have you ever wondered why the days seem to go by faster as we get older? Maybe it’s because age teaches us to recognize how short life ultimately is, and how much of our time has been wasted. Ralph Waldo Emerson (I think) said it a long time ago: “Only put off for tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”

You can never get back your neglected opportunities. Granted, other opportunities may come back in a familiar form. But doors of opportunity are only open for a season. And those doors will eventually close – either behind you or before you. The only difference is where you are standing when it closes. The roads to hell, heartache, and hopelessness have been paved with the sad words, “If only.”
Learn to recognize your shooting stars – your words, your past, your time, and your opportunities. And seize the day. The Lord made it, and you will never have another one quite like this. Oh, and scan that junk mail a little more closely. You never know where you may hear a still, small voice.

Jumping the gun…. Lol

Ok,ok,ok… 

So maybe I jumped the gun with all this holiday spirit crap…lol

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the Grinch! That would be much husband’s title. Just ask his niece. 

Anyway after my last blog I woke up refreshed an ready to tackle Christmas full force…..

Ok!!! What was I thinking??? I look in the shed to see boxes an boxes of Christmas crap that I haven’t used in a couple years and all of the sudden I’m thinking to myself… Have you lost your mind????

Well nope not completely… You know what I did? Yep I shut that she’d door and came inside. Not that I’m totally not doing Christmas… I’m just not making more work for myself… Baby steps….😂😂😂😂

I’m still gonna get gifts, bake cookies an listen to jingle bells and all the other mushy stuff…. But I am not decorating a full house for only 30 days…. 

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That’s to all my supporters 

Love Mrs. Grinch 😘

UGGGG The Holidaze!!!!!

Well I am sure you can see by the title that the holidays are not one of the favorite times of the year around here….

Not sure what happened or who stole my Christmas joy, but I can tell you It has not been the same since Grandma passed! I think the lady herself held everything about this family in place!!!!!  (I sure do miss you) 😦

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Times have been rough, its like we dont even really have a family anymore…. I miss doing all the things we used to do…. I tried for a long time as you can see later in photos but I just cant hold it together like she did… I have no idea how she did it for all those years!

I guess when people loose whats most important it affects more than just them, it affects the whole family!

Sure I watch all the Christmas movies and those stupid Hallmark movies and sit here and cry, but i would never tell anyone that so shhhhh……

I have been a little overwhelmed here lately with life in general…. For those who dont know me I will tell ya a little story about my past!

It was 2005 and I was on a wild streak doing drugs and drinking a lot. I am not going to go into a lot of detail but I lost my kids to CPS. Needless to say it was right before Christmas. I began to drink myself to death and wound up in the psych unit twice in one month. (Believe Me It was not a Pretty Site)!!!!! I threw my Christmas tree right out the front door, Hey I figured No Family, No Tree!!!!

Anyway after some time I got sober and enjoyed life to the fullest…. Baking, signing Christmas songs, decorating EVERYTHING!!!!! Then one by one my family starting disappearing before my eyes…. Passing away never knowing  the family would be left in pieces. Like I stated earlier I have tried my best to keep the traditions alive and well but it has just become to much to bare!

I figured I would write this in hopes to let everyone know that yes it is the holidays but please keep others in mind that have no family and are not so joyous this time of year… (There are reasons, so be gentle) Someone may need you, as I need my grandma… I hope and pray for her to help this family and bring the spirit of Christmas to us this year…..

Starting today the Grinch will not steal my Christmas!!!!!

Please enjoy these photos of Christmas past and help me welcome back the spirit of Christmas….

Merry Christmas to all

Until next time peeps Keep your head up!!!!

 

Time can change people!!!!

Haven’t written in a while so I wanted top drop a line and say Hey to all my peeps!!!!

So I used to write poems all the time so I figured I would give y’all a little taste and see what ya think….

 

Inside Out, Outside In

I think I’ll write a book to show the world how I look,

inside out Outside in to show the world I can feel again!

I’m not as bad as I used to be, fight the world, that was me!

I’ll write a book and let you see I was beside the world my feelings and me,

I’m writing this book so you can take a look at how I was my feelings , dreams and me!

You’ll find out along the way I was different from day to day, at least that’s what they say!

So open my book an take  a look, the poems you read its hard to believe, Inside out, Outside in.

And soon you will see I’m not as bad as i used to be, taking on the world Just little ‘ol me.

This is the cover as you can see,

But open up I’m glad to share my dreams, feelings and Me!!!!

 

There No Change

Its hard to let go of things from the past, but things must change and there’s no going back.

As I look back now on the things you used to say, You said wed last forever, but it seems forever just faded away!

Slowly but surly a part of me must die and as I watch you drift away all I can do is cry!

So shed a tear for me and dont say I never cared cause in my heart I’ll always remember the love that we once shared.

 

So I have tons of poems that I wrote and would love to share with the world…

Until next time stay true to yourself!!!

Know Your Worth!

I am tired…. I am tired of trying to be stronger than I feel and I want to break down; but I dont have that ability in me anymore….

No one is ever going to stand up for me or do things for me except me!!!! I know some will read this an think UGGGG that bitch… I have done so much for her!!!! And that is fine I do appreciate all those whom have helped me but this is an internal fix that no one can help with….

I have let people down and people have let me down and I guess that’s just the way the world works! But no one is going to believe in me so I must do it for myself… Once again I have gone down a dark path that I swore I would never return to…. Those demons are real and I hope no one ever has to face them especially not alone.

Today my world is not turning in the same direction as the rest of the world seems to rotate on. My axle is broke and the wheels are falling off. Almost seems as though my little piece of the world is crumbling around me….

But tomorrow I will pick myself up, dust me off and move on with life as we know it as if nothing ever happened.. well because that’s what I do… I move on… I dont take hostages and I have no regrets….. Because I learn something all the time and every time…. I have faith in me because I have been there done that. I will pick myself up and carry on with what needs done…. Day after day!!!!

People and this world have made me different and cold…. No I am not the same person from a year ago ( a lot has happened) and I dont think that  that girl will ever return!!!!

Tomorrow is a new day and as long as the sun rises and I wake up, then I will do better than I did today with or without anyone by my side… As I am built for this shit!!!! Not much I haven’t been through so I can take whatever is dished out…. Hit me with your best shot, but I know I will get back up and succeed as I have been down an out before but I never stay long…

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will believe in me!!!!! I know my worth and I hope you know yours too!!!!!Im-not-self-employed.-I-run-a-business.

 

Rediscovering Yourself!!!!!

My life revolves around the feeling of not knowing who I am anymore! I wonder what was I like? Who was that girl before life happened! I was looking back on photos (which i will share) but i was thinking what went wrong? How did I end up here…..

Feeling so lost, alone and afraid of every move I make that I might me doing it wrong; and of course I usually am because I am my worst  critic! I can remember the good ‘ol days when life just seemed to be simple, times were slower and well people were nicer…. This world and Yes My decisions  have made me bitter and cold and wanting to numb out all the feelings.

For those who dont know me personally I will let ya in on a little secret! I have used drugs and alcohol to mask these feelings from the world most of my life! Now if you look at me differently knowing this that is okay because you wont be the first and I am sure wont be the last, and as I said before I am my worst critic, and most dangerous person to me is ME! So there’s not much anyone can say or do that I haven’t already to myself!

Okay so now that we got that out of the way lets get back to how to rediscover ourselves and not feel like a crappy person all the time. So how do I find this girl? Is she hiding somewhere within me… I’m chunky so there is lots of places she could be hiding…… 😉

So lets start with what do I like? Well I like Pizza, movies, reading, Writing, nature, photos, art Philosophy….. Okay that looks like a good start. Now how often do I do these things?

Pizza = Sometimes ( Not as much as I would like)

Movies = A Lot ( could be doing other things on list)

Reading = Varies ( Could do more if I cared to)

Writing = More now ( Grateful for starting Blog)

Nature = Not enough ( Not as much as I would like)

Photos = Used to ( Not as much as I would like)

Philosophy = Hardly ever ( Not as much as I would like)

 

Okay so there seems to be a pattern here of ( Not as much as I would like)???? So how can I change it? I want to be that happy and carefree girl again. So I searched the wonderful Google and these are some steps I came up with to helping you find your way.

 

4 Essential Steps to Rediscovering Yourself

It’s impossible to change history.  But we can rediscover ourselves.  We can reclaim our seemingly lost qualities and talents.  And even our very essence, our soul.  It is never too late.

Here are four essential steps to help you rediscover yourself.

  1. Recognize the Loss

Are you living life on automatic?  That’s the essence of being lost.  Busyness conveniently covers the pain. But one day, a trickle of grace filters through.  A tiny light illuminates a slice of darkness.

When that happens, don’t hesitate for a moment!  Capture the grace, dwell in the light, and dare to ask:  “Have I lost a part of myself?”  The answer may instantaneously appear. Or, like me, the question may dance for awhile in the deepest recesses of your brain until clarity beautifully dawns.

  1. Identify the Missing Parts

What are you missing? Have you lost yourself altogether?  Or are you missing pieces and parts?  Try using some of the methods listed in part 4 – like writing, dialog, or art – to unearth the truth.

Questions for reflection:

  • Who am I? Is this who I want to be?
  • What am I missing?
  • Which parts am I missing?
  • What am I longing for?
  • What were my dreams as a child, a teen, a young adult?
  • What were my passions as a child, a teen, a young adult?
  • How do I want my life to look?  Today?  In 5 years? When I die?
  • What are my values?
  • What do I cherish most highly?
  • What brings me happiness, satisfactions, a sense of accomplishment?
  1. Explore How You Got Off Track

There are so many ways you can lose yourself. From the voice of your own inner tyrant to the people and circumstances that touch you constantly throughout the day.  Any one of us can easily feel swept away by the countless demands, expectations, and overriding commitments that come to rule one’s life in a seemingly inescapable way.

Credited :

http://alwayswellwithin.com/2011/01/12/have-you-lost-a-part-of-yourself/

Until next time…. Enjoy the photos , BTW I am the little blonde…

Issues…. We all Got’em

I have done a lot of soul searching recently and have come to the conclusion that not everyone is good to have in your life!

Some say your parents are yours forever no matter what!!!!

Well they are right, I mean you cant literally change who made you but that doesn’t mean that you have to allow them into your life if they seem to corrupt it…. Sometimes its better to let them go if the stress is too much for you.

I have let my father Go! Its sad that I never really had one; well I take that back I had my papaw and that is who I will remember even though he has passed. That is the man who I consider my true father!!! He was there for me no matter what, he showed me how to through ball, how to be a hard worker, how to fix stuff and even how to be just a good person!

My real father was never around… But to hear him tell it he was always there….. When he did show up which wasent often it was like he was the world!!!! However most of the time I sat looking out the window waiting for someone that would never show!!!!! And maybe that part of me is that part of him; as I am not the best parent myself!!! So why do these things stick with us? Cant I just move on?

I have always looked for love in all the wrong places. Possibly looking for that father figure. I would sleep around with older guys and put myself in situations that were dangerous. All to be let down in the morning or the next week or however long it took to realize I could never find what I was looking for!!!!

I dont understand how I have let this little piece of me take so much of my life as if it were a huge grenade that exploded and took ruin to everything good about the person I was meant to be!

My mom always told me that I was sensitive growing up that she couldn’t even hardly yell at me without me getting my feelings hurt and begin to cry! So maybe that is what happened; this world made me cold! You know because sensitive people dont make it in the world we live in!!!!

Even though I wouldn’t know what a real father is supposed to do or how to act except for good ‘ol papaw…. I do know how their not supposed to act!

I know that you dont cause harm or take them places that could cause harm… Knowing past issues! You dont only need your kid when you need help with something! You dont take things for granted because you have a parental authority…..

Which is why I have let my father go!!!

I know I left details out but that may be another story, another day!!!!

I dont even know when or if I will publish this, but it felt good to let it out……

Thank you for reading.

Comments and follows are always welcome!!!!!

Until next time….. Carry on, stand tall, keep your eye on the prize!!!!