I am tired…. I am tired of trying to be stronger than I feel and I want to break down; but I dont have that ability in me anymore….
No one is ever going to stand up for me or do things for me except me!!!! I know some will read this an think UGGGG that bitch… I have done so much for her!!!! And that is fine I do appreciate all those whom have helped me but this is an internal fix that no one can help with….
I have let people down and people have let me down and I guess that’s just the way the world works! But no one is going to believe in me so I must do it for myself… Once again I have gone down a dark path that I swore I would never return to…. Those demons are real and I hope no one ever has to face them especially not alone.
Today my world is not turning in the same direction as the rest of the world seems to rotate on. My axle is broke and the wheels are falling off. Almost seems as though my little piece of the world is crumbling around me….
But tomorrow I will pick myself up, dust me off and move on with life as we know it as if nothing ever happened.. well because that’s what I do… I move on… I dont take hostages and I have no regrets….. Because I learn something all the time and every time…. I have faith in me because I have been there done that. I will pick myself up and carry on with what needs done…. Day after day!!!!
People and this world have made me different and cold…. No I am not the same person from a year ago ( a lot has happened) and I dont think that that girl will ever return!!!!
Tomorrow is a new day and as long as the sun rises and I wake up, then I will do better than I did today with or without anyone by my side… As I am built for this shit!!!! Not much I haven’t been through so I can take whatever is dished out…. Hit me with your best shot, but I know I will get back up and succeed as I have been down an out before but I never stay long…
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will believe in me!!!!! I know my worth and I hope you know yours too!!!!!